May God’s Mercy be on you and may he treat you as well in heaven as he did on earth. May his everlasting love and grace be upon you and yours as you struggle through this. Get well soon Paul it is with heavy heart that I express my condolences because and forsooth I am first a human and yes dammit I drove to the crash site and I CRIED and cried. God thank you for placing Paul among us and then ripping his life from us you are kind and benevolent it’s so clear that there is a bearded man in the sky just killing guys on motorcycles and fast red cars one by one just for the fuck of it and that, Dearest Father in heaven is why we genuflect and eat little slices of bread and talk in old fashioned language and chant and shit … if some Arab did it we’d all be running and ducking for cover and calling 911. Am I right or what?

Heaven just gained another angel. And let me tell you something. I read a tweet today from a motherfucker who says that Paul used to come into a theater he worked with and go play dungeons and dragons and shit with this guys boss. Well if you think that makes you any closer to the tragedy than me well you are wrong kind sir *I* am deeply deeply saddened. Way more deeply saddened than you cause once I ran into Paul at a drugstore and he was sort of checking out the fountain pens and I saw him POCKET ONE so I told him “bro, not cool” and he kind of jumped and said “we all have a little wynona in us” and I said “you are telling me” and he said something about Wynona having a little Paul in her and we laughed and laughed. So I think this is hurting me a little more than you me and TYRESE are gonna write a fucking poem TOP THAT!





Author: kingster



LAK Dustin Brown Diving against Jaromir Jagr


Is this guy kidding? This is your captain? How many times does he have to be called for this particular brand of pussy penalty before the league does something about it?



You see, hockey is NOT about trying to trick the official. Sure, you might lobby on your issue here and there with the officials. It is a tough game and you need to take every advantage you can. But it’s HOCKEY, not soccer. And that is supposed to be what distinguishes this sport from others. Hockey is tough, honest, true. Right? Isn’t that what everyone says? Hockey is not soft, it doesn’t fall down on contact. Hockey doesn’t lie or cheat or hide things. It’s a mans game – simple, to the point. Straight not crooked.


But this guy does it over and over. He hits someone from behind then runs and hides. He gets barely touched and he falls down. He whips his head back.


It’s simpler than that. He’s a CHEATER. A pussy.


It’s sad cause this guy is good at the game. He’s strong. He can take a hit and he can give one. But instead of doing it like Mark Messier, he does it like one of these sea salt lotion salespersons in the mall. Sneaky, lying. Tries to get something for nothing. He’s the 800 number calling at dinnertime announcing you won a contest and all they need is your credit card and you can cancel at any time. He’s the free weekend in Palm Springs you just gotta go to the 45 minute speech. For you King guys to relate, he’s the nacho salesperson who goes really light on the cheese sauce or the Mcdonalds worker who fills up your 84 ounce cola with ice so you don’t get your calories.






Author: kingster


Nuff said

Author: kingster


I first saw Bobby Ryan play hockey the year he was drafted. It was at Anaheim (then “Disney”) Ice in a training camp. He was noticeable for a couple things 1)He was tall and gawky, the ostrich skating style of an 18 year old not quite there yet 2) He played ONLY on the perimeter 3) He tried to juke everybody every time. 4) He had NO physical component at all.

I did not see the skillset in that one practice that everyone else had seen when he was 16 and 17. That later became obvious as he went 4 straight 30 goal years, mostly on a second line and a second PP unit. The guy can fill up the net. But I did identify this guys game IMMEDIATELY. Totally invisible for most of the game unless someone forgot to pick him up, then a flash of good hockey. No defense, passing, forechecking …. really no value at all if he’s not on a hot goal streak.

Probably half a dozen times in his NHL career I have seen him get pissed. And he’s a strong violent guy when he does. But it’s so rare, who cares.

I searched for hours though and finally found a picture of him “roughhousing”. Looks like a fucking pillow fight:



1) WORTHLESS. As mentioned he’s a totally worthless player if he’s not on a goal scoring streak No defense, little playmaking, no checking. He’s another guy that would be great in a 4 on 4 Euro league where 23 goals wins. WIth him it’s like softball … we don’t give a shit how may they score, we will score 12 in the next inning. The Duck didn’t win shit while he was here, and he’s part of the reason.

2) POUTER. This is the worst part. The guys name came up every year as trade bait. And why not, the team would struggle when he would go on scoreless 10 game streaks. He wasn’t mad that other teams wanted him, he was mad that the Duck didn’t instantly tell the media WE WILL NOT TRADE BOBBYY RYAN. Maybe it’s something about wearing the number 9 in Anaheim that makes you think you are special. Maybe it’s living his whole life as the best guy on the team until he hit the NHL ice. Maybe he’s just a crybaby.

3) I LOVE PHILLY. Now talk about an asshole. This guy went on some stupid blogtalk thing in Philly a summer ago and gushed and gushed about how it was his dream to play there, about what a struggle it was to play in Anaheim under this “pressure” and blah blah I love Philly blah blah. What a stab in the back.

4) TALK SHIT AFTER YOU LEAVE. Yup, in in every interview since the Duck did what he wanted – he took a shot at Anaheim. Nothing direct, just shit like “I’m so glad to have it (his tenure in Anaheim) finally behind me”. “I’m finally going to a real hockey town”. Fuck you Bobby, I got the message the first 15 times.

5) CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR. Though he’s now scored in 3 straight, this pussy had like 0,1 and was minus something in the first 3 Senator games. He was asked about it and flipped out “there is nothing going on you guys are getting carried away it’s a long season quit asking me that”. Hey buddy, you wanted to play in a hockey hotbed there you go! Answer the question like a man, “bobby”! Of course when he finally scored, a local guy asked him “Well hows it feel to have the pressure lifted” a genuine question giving him a chance to talk and he says “THERE WAS ONLY PRESSURE CAUSE YOU GUYS KEPT BRINGING IT UP”. Careful what you ask for.

6) TWITTER HERO PUSSES OUT. So last night after The Duck DOMINATED his shitty team I pointed out two things on twitter:


“when @b_ryan9 scored I booed loudly and was NOT the only 1 – old lady and slutty 30 something on glass told me to stop – booed some more”

To which Mr. “I’m clever on Twitter” responded by saying I was classless. LOL what the fuck? I paid for my plaza seat full fare, I can boo whoever and whenever I want and the fact is the OPPONENT (who just happens to be a pissy sourpuss who talked shit on his team after he left) just scored so, fuck him I’m booing!

Of course I was just warming up so this came next:


“Typical @b_ryan9 night, one-time goal, invisible rest of the night and bounced between lines – then brags about meaningless goal later”

And yes he did say that goal was something special coming here against his old team. Implying, if not just saying, that it was some sort of statement about his trade. So fuck him right? He’s a pro athlete, all over twitter so he can take it. Besides, it’s not like I made it up. It’s the truth.

Nope, he blocked me in some little pissy tirade where he claimed to have not called my girlfriend back and that’s why I’m angry. WAIT, isn’t this the guy just said I had no class? BTW, Bobby, I married my last girlfriend 29 years ago dipshit.

7) HIS FORMER TEAMMATES HATE HIM TOO. After Jakob Silfverberg scored 4 goals in his first 4 games after coming over for Ryan, goalie Jonas Hiller was asked about the difference, having Silfverberg “It’s just kinda nice to have everyone want to be here, everyone on the same page and everyone really invested in winning”. Message received, Bobby???? OH, and then after last nights game Ryan Getzlaf says “well that was what we expected, he goes invisible for a long time then pops up and scores”. A backhanded compliment if ever I heard one.

This is a “man” pampered all his life. He’s emotional, unsteady. The VERY last guy you would call if you were in a jam. Too busy fixing his hair in the mirror, looking out for himself and trying to look cool. Ottawa will see soon enough that it is impossible to score 30 goals a season in such a meaningless fashion.


Not sure how a guy this big and strong can be such a woman. But here’s the story. This week the Ducks have a game vs their archivals, the LA Kings. Shelly is on LTIR (much to the Ducks relief as now they get out of that albatross of a cap hit and they don’t have to pay so much to resurface the ice from his fucking clumsy slow-assed skating). The night of the Duck game, DURING the Duck game “Shelly” tweets from the ANGEL game. That’s right, the out-out-of-the-playoff meaningless ANGEL game. He’s there with his skanky WWF Diva big boobed girlfriend.

So, I thought, what the fuck dude? Your team is playing a game 20 miles away and you aren’t gonna even go watch? You aren’t gonna stay home and watch on TV? Or at least, if you are gonna go the the LOSER Angel game you aren’t gonna tweet about you partying it up with your silicone sister, right?
So I tweet him the question “Didn’t your team have a game tonight?”


Oh fuck, Shelly is NOT used to being questioned!


As you read this, keep in mind his lame ass attack on me “you didn’t watch the game either” is first of all STUPID even if true. I’m not paid 4 million a year to be ON the team. But it’s just factually all fucked up due to 1) I watched every minute of the game and 2 ) It in fact was on Prime Ticket!!

He’s had the reputation as kind of a “me me me” guy.



I think that’s his “O” face!


Author: kingster

Even Eklund won’t have this guy (for free) it appears. Sort of like when they felt bad about firing Kramer cause he didn’t even work there. Allegedly. I was going to use a picture of him but he would then send me one thousand emails threatening to sue me, completely mis-using legal terms and claiming that Piston would come and be his star witness! Can you imagine a life where you copy a guy named Dancing Barry and can’t pull it off? Where you have the personality of Corey Feldman and the looks of Marty Feldman? The saddest part is that even after all these years of trying to act like a man, of talking to men and latching on to other men to try and erase a childhood full of watching Broadway plays and interacting only with stagehands, he still has to be the center of attention unless and until he gets his way. And when that happens he just starts pouting anyway. This is all alleged by the way cause I sure as fuck don’t want to have my inbox flooded with emails misspelling the word “cease” and ending with a threat to call my parents or something. Either way I don’t see him as the LA Kings correspondent at Hockey Buzz any longer. Where will King fans get there stupid trade rumors now?

What a HUGE mistake!

Author: kingster

And by “huge” I mean that Dustin Penner is fat. Has he ever had a coach that didn’t say he was fat or lazy? Mactavish, Terry Murray, Sutter all benched him for varying amounts of time for laziness. In his defense, Murray didn’t call him “fat” he said he’s “too heavy for his frame”.


Fucking stupid. The Duck needed a second line center, they got a first rate overeater. Fat, slow and stupid is no way to go through life, son.




Author: kingster