I have long contended that among King fans, those who think they are the smartest are actually the stupidest. Those who think they can write a game story (Carla Muller) have the grammar skills of a 2nd grader. Those who claim to be “insiders” (Rich Hammond) are actually pencil neck jock sniffers who the GM purposely lies to in order to sway a trade. Those who claim to be watching their weight are over 300lbs and those who claim to have been fans “forever” picked up the game when their Dad got all excited about Gretzky.

So now, awash in a 5 game winless slump, Kingfans are at their best. The know-it-alls are in one of two camps a) burying their sorrow in beer and nachos or b) screaming at the team for lack of effort – and longing for the good old days.

Because, of course, it can’t be that their favorite heroes suck, or that St Louis is pretty good, NO NO NO. That is fingers-in-your-ears blahblahblahblahblahblah “I’m not listening” talk. It must be that they are lazy jerks not nearly as hard working as their cubicle-working fan base. (Well, those that do have jobs).

Representative samples, first from “hockey girl” the matronly self-described exercise fiend:

Laura C ‏@hockey2024 14h
Seriously @LAKings it’s time to get your act together. Find some killer instinct or even a basic compete level. Take less penalties. Geez!!

Now that, my friends, is the answer. “find the killer instinct” “take less penalties” WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU GUYS!

Later, from the voice of internet post game king talk from his cell phone with Tonga’s battery dying:

hipcheck ‏@hipchecked 14h
In the old days at least you would see a few fights in a blow out, in the new NHL I guess you just sit back and take it

LOL, so that’s it! Lose 5 in a row but at least get in some fights! What a bunch of jerks! If it was me, I’d be out there fighting people god dammit!

It’s a beautiful meltdown. Even if it’s only 5 games. It’s the same reaction, year in and year out, too. Know-it-all HOMER fan sees his team slump and attacks them for lack of effort. Longs for the good old days when guys really cared about the game and the fans.

Keep in mind, King faithful, that your boys in black have now a whole 19 regulation wins in their 42 starts. That means they are still a little over .500 by all accounts and that’s good. For you.

2 Responses to “The Biggest Know-It-Alls Are Usually The Stupidest”

  1. Realist Says:

    For all intensive purposes, would this be true in reverse? Where know-nothings like me are the smartest? The Red Wings have been sucking lately but I’m not worried about it for three reasons. 1.) They’re the Red Wings. B.) The East sucks and C.) They’re the Red Wings.

  2. Psycho Gypsy Says:


Leave a Reply

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload CAPTCHA.