Look, Hockey sucks. I’m glad the Duck are out of the playoffs because the playoffs suck. Look at it this way:
1. Suspensionmania? What the hell was going on in the first round? The discrepancy in suspensions was completely stupid. The NHL saying “that’s not a suspension because the player was in a hitting zone” might the the stupidest explanation since “well, sorry, I thought Dustin Penner would hustle here, that’s why I gave up Teubert, a first and a third”.
2. The “coolest” thing about the playoffs is the green men?
3. The stupid teams are all winning. Caps are losing. San Jose looks like they’ll match up against Vancouver? Why don’t you just light a torch, hold me down and shove it up my ass?
4. Playoff Beards? This has become a stupider tradition than the Detroit octopus. It was clever at first, but now the FANS grow playoff beards? The announcers (Jim Fox)? Come on.
5. Twitter “wars”? Seriously. That’s the big news “have you seen Ryan Whitney and Joffrey Lupuls twitter comments, HYSTERICAL, bro”. How bout this? STFU.
6. Jeremy Roenick. I used to love this guy as a player, but what an uninformed egomaniac.
7. Rinkrat still alive?
8. Goalie masks, and the fans that adore them. These airbrushed pieces of garbage don’t belong on an old stucco wall in La Puente, let alone on the ice. Just put on a helmet and play the game.
ITS TIME FOR DODGER BASEBALL!!!!!