I’M SORRY NHL, I’M SORRY EDMONTON. PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

I just can’t control myself though.

Last year I threw another tantrum (inspired by the movie “Scarface” and inspired a little by my favorite Godfather movie, Godfather XVI with Tony Danza and The Situation ). My Italian blood got the better of me and I yelled and screamed in the middle of another “this is the year … oops” hapless season. This was over a single goal call not overturned by the War Room in Toronto. Now listen. I love “war rooms”. I have my own war room. I hunker down and plot to fuck people over in it. I have learned all this from the classic movies, again I mention Scarface and also would like to add Goodfellas, Carlito’s Way and The Sopranos. But I digress. Mike Murphy, an obvious Mick, wouldn’t overturn the call so we lost the game and, well, as Danny Devito might do, I lost it. I called Murphy out and said he’d never ever overturn a call cause he hates the Kings because they didn’t hire him as a GM. Petty? Hateful? A true look into my childish personality? Yes, yes and yes.

So I did what any goodfella would do. I apologized like a big baby! I said that I agreed with my 50k fine. I agreed that I was …

“wrong, inappropriate and my comments were without merit”

Mike Murphy basically called me a dick and a baby, Gary Bettman did the same thing and I went public – “I AGREE”!

Now sometimes I draw the line. When I infuriated Jack Johnson and the University of Michigan Hockey program and their legendary coach, coming right out and saying that the kid knew nothing about elementary hockey until *I* got hold of him and taught him, well I didn’t apologize. I didn’t have to! Fuck him he’s not the boss of me! What I did instead, very sneaky here, I fuckin copped out! I said “listen I told some internet fag blogger and I thought he understood this was not for the record, but apparently he’s not a suck up like Helene Elliot or Rich ‘he works for me now’ Hammond and this twerp published it.” So, no harm no foul!

More recently however I blew it, lost my spaghetti brain and I need to apologize yet again. See I traded with Edmonton and they sent me two stiffs. Both of them hurt. You don’t do that to the Don. No way. You play fair or you’ll be face down in the Hudson, capiche? I fucked em up good! Told ‘em that I’d rather deal with Bernie Madoff! THAT JUST HAPPENED EDMONTON. Oh snap.

Anyway I have to apologize again. Sorry.

“I should have never said what I said publicly. It was the wrong thing to do. I apologize to

Edmonton,as well as the National Hockey League, that that wasn’t the way to handle it.”

In closing, I’d like to say that I never fucked anyone over in my life didn’t have it coming to them. You got that? All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don’t break them for no one. Do you understand? That piece of shit up there I never liked him, I never trusted him. For all I know he had me set up and he had my friend Angel Fernandez killed. But that’s history. I’m here, he’s not. Do you wanna go on with me, you say it. You don’t, then you make a move.

You think this is funny? How am I funny, like a Clown funny? What is so funny about me? What the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what’s funny.

4 Responses to “I AM DEAN LOMBARDI AND I ANSWER TO NO MAN”

  1. Dick Pole Says:

    Trying too hard. 5.6

    But we’ll give you a bonus point for moving freakish kingster further down the page.

  2. TheGreenLaser Says:

    I don’t know DP….I thought it was solid, funny and informative. 9.1.

  3. monk Says:

    good documentaries are not always entertaining but they educate all the time. 10 on a scale of 1-5.

  4. hamertime Says:

    8.0 for almost getting the Tonny DeVitp quote correct

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