Archive for October, 2013

I first saw Bobby Ryan play hockey the year he was drafted. It was at Anaheim (then “Disney”) Ice in a training camp. He was noticeable for a couple things 1)He was tall and gawky, the ostrich skating style of an 18 year old not quite there yet 2) He played ONLY on the perimeter 3) He tried to juke everybody every time. 4) He had NO physical component at all.

I did not see the skillset in that one practice that everyone else had seen when he was 16 and 17. That later became obvious as he went 4 straight 30 goal years, mostly on a second line and a second PP unit. The guy can fill up the net. But I did identify this guys game IMMEDIATELY. Totally invisible for most of the game unless someone forgot to pick him up, then a flash of good hockey. No defense, passing, forechecking …. really no value at all if he’s not on a hot goal streak.

Probably half a dozen times in his NHL career I have seen him get pissed. And he’s a strong violent guy when he does. But it’s so rare, who cares.

I searched for hours though and finally found a picture of him “roughhousing”. Looks like a fucking pillow fight:



1) WORTHLESS. As mentioned he’s a totally worthless player if he’s not on a goal scoring streak No defense, little playmaking, no checking. He’s another guy that would be great in a 4 on 4 Euro league where 23 goals wins. WIth him it’s like softball … we don’t give a shit how may they score, we will score 12 in the next inning. The Duck didn’t win shit while he was here, and he’s part of the reason.

2) POUTER. This is the worst part. The guys name came up every year as trade bait. And why not, the team would struggle when he would go on scoreless 10 game streaks. He wasn’t mad that other teams wanted him, he was mad that the Duck didn’t instantly tell the media WE WILL NOT TRADE BOBBYY RYAN. Maybe it’s something about wearing the number 9 in Anaheim that makes you think you are special. Maybe it’s living his whole life as the best guy on the team until he hit the NHL ice. Maybe he’s just a crybaby.

3) I LOVE PHILLY. Now talk about an asshole. This guy went on some stupid blogtalk thing in Philly a summer ago and gushed and gushed about how it was his dream to play there, about what a struggle it was to play in Anaheim under this “pressure” and blah blah I love Philly blah blah. What a stab in the back.

4) TALK SHIT AFTER YOU LEAVE. Yup, in in every interview since the Duck did what he wanted – he took a shot at Anaheim. Nothing direct, just shit like “I’m so glad to have it (his tenure in Anaheim) finally behind me”. “I’m finally going to a real hockey town”. Fuck you Bobby, I got the message the first 15 times.

5) CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR. Though he’s now scored in 3 straight, this pussy had like 0,1 and was minus something in the first 3 Senator games. He was asked about it and flipped out “there is nothing going on you guys are getting carried away it’s a long season quit asking me that”. Hey buddy, you wanted to play in a hockey hotbed there you go! Answer the question like a man, “bobby”! Of course when he finally scored, a local guy asked him “Well hows it feel to have the pressure lifted” a genuine question giving him a chance to talk and he says “THERE WAS ONLY PRESSURE CAUSE YOU GUYS KEPT BRINGING IT UP”. Careful what you ask for.

6) TWITTER HERO PUSSES OUT. So last night after The Duck DOMINATED his shitty team I pointed out two things on twitter:


“when @b_ryan9 scored I booed loudly and was NOT the only 1 – old lady and slutty 30 something on glass told me to stop – booed some more”

To which Mr. “I’m clever on Twitter” responded by saying I was classless. LOL what the fuck? I paid for my plaza seat full fare, I can boo whoever and whenever I want and the fact is the OPPONENT (who just happens to be a pissy sourpuss who talked shit on his team after he left) just scored so, fuck him I’m booing!

Of course I was just warming up so this came next:


“Typical @b_ryan9 night, one-time goal, invisible rest of the night and bounced between lines – then brags about meaningless goal later”

And yes he did say that goal was something special coming here against his old team. Implying, if not just saying, that it was some sort of statement about his trade. So fuck him right? He’s a pro athlete, all over twitter so he can take it. Besides, it’s not like I made it up. It’s the truth.

Nope, he blocked me in some little pissy tirade where he claimed to have not called my girlfriend back and that’s why I’m angry. WAIT, isn’t this the guy just said I had no class? BTW, Bobby, I married my last girlfriend 29 years ago dipshit.

7) HIS FORMER TEAMMATES HATE HIM TOO. After Jakob Silfverberg scored 4 goals in his first 4 games after coming over for Ryan, goalie Jonas Hiller was asked about the difference, having Silfverberg “It’s just kinda nice to have everyone want to be here, everyone on the same page and everyone really invested in winning”. Message received, Bobby???? OH, and then after last nights game Ryan Getzlaf says “well that was what we expected, he goes invisible for a long time then pops up and scores”. A backhanded compliment if ever I heard one.

This is a “man” pampered all his life. He’s emotional, unsteady. The VERY last guy you would call if you were in a jam. Too busy fixing his hair in the mirror, looking out for himself and trying to look cool. Ottawa will see soon enough that it is impossible to score 30 goals a season in such a meaningless fashion.