Archive for May, 2012

4-3 DEVILS I’M CALLING IT!

Author: kingster

Right, that's not kneeing! Look where his knee is!

Justify it how you must, Kingsters, but Dustin Brown is quite a few genes short of a full DNA bucket. This guy hears “take the body” and he thinks it means “end a guys career”. He fears being punched so he runs from every fight. He hears “play smart” and he dives.

He’s Sean Avery, just not as much lip.

Here’s his latest cheap hit, and you go ahead and look at this grainy picture of Dustin Brown’s knee, right where it shouldn’t be on an offsides play when I think both goalies are already drinking from their water bottles. Roszival himself has been in the offensive zone for about 2 seconds along with a bunch of other guys before Brown is even within hearing distance of the play. It’s just plain and simple a guy knowing he can get away with a cheap shot at a time and place where he won’t have to answer for it. Dustin Brown is what is wrong with Hockey today.

 

Oh, and yes. He ran away from the post cheap-shot challenges.

World’s Worst Diver?

Author: kingster

I really don’t get it. His team is kicking everyone’s ass. He is being allowed to run away from blindside hits. He’s the King of Los Angeles. But this Dustin Brown has got the mongoloid gene so bad that not only does he have to keep walking around with that jutting forehead and, pardon me, “retarded” grin, he’s got to DIVE his way through the playoffs. Stay on your feet and play like a man! What the fuck?

Is that THIS asshole bailed on both these teams before they hit it big. He better not show his ugly filthy face at the arena no matter which of these teams gets to the Finals.

 

SLEEZEBAG

Lets not forget that it’s Wayne Gretzky and his business partner and felon, Bruce Mcnall that drove the Kings to bankruptcy, and it’s Wayne Gretzky who was business partners with Mcnall when Mcnall was convicted of defrauding banks of over 200 million dollars. It’s Wayne Gretzky that never won here, that fucked up any trade value for Gretzky when Gretzky left, shopping for a cup elsewhere, and it’s Wayne Gretzky and Bruce Mcnall who set the Kings back the next 17 years trying to emerge from the most gigantic financial hole you can imagine. Bigger even than Mcnalls gigantic mouth or asshole.

So then … whatever, 99 comes in, brings in all his buddies, calls all the shots, takes all the money, loses and LEAVES! OK whatever, right?

WRONG.

Next thing he does (besides having his own brand of Bigelow Green Tea, opening a bunch of shitty restaurants and a shitload of now-defunct roller hockey arenas .. not to mention the bedsheets, pillowcases, keyfobs etc) is goes to Phoenix as an “owner/coach”.

What’s he do there?

Well, lets see. First of all he has his wife making bets with Rick Tocchet, the Don Corleone of the NHL and then what? When the scam is revealed (Janet bet 500k on the super bowl? Please. This fucking guy had his wife making half million dollar bets to keep his name out of it? SCUMBAG!) So when the hammer starts falling, what’s Wayno do? He lets Tocchet take the fall! Wayne didn’t know anything about it? LOL! Just like his former crook/partner Mcnall, Tocchet gets all the liability while Wayne remains Mr Canada? LOL.

Well at least he won in Phoenix, right? Well if you consider missing the playoffs every year he coached “winning” and if you consider becoming the league leader in two minute penalties for playing ineligible players after submitting the wrong roster, winning, then hell yeah Wayne’s a WINNER!

At least though Phoenix made out well financially?

Well lets see, while Wayne was an owner they LOST 360 million dollars. They went into bankruptcy! That makes him 2 for 2 in driving teams to bankruptcy. The league bought them out! Gretzky lined not only his own pockets, but also the pockets of his family and friends with that 360 million in losses – he hired Tocchet, Grant Fuhr, his old buddy Mike Barnett as GM. Gretzky’s salary? 8.5 million a year as coach! About seven times the average salary! So an extra 7 mill a year for 6 years? That would take a pretty big bite out of that 360 mill right?

Oh and the head of scouting? KEITH GRETZKY! I wonder what he got paid? 7 times any other head of scouting? Must have been a real bidding war to convince his brother to head up his scouting department!

And do you remember in 2009 when he quit as coach while the team was trying to sell? Remember in training camp he didn’t show up, said he didn’t want to be a distraction while new ownership was being sought out? And he was heralded for it! Well guess what? New ownership wanted him to take 2 million a year, not 8.5 AND he was entitled to a 14.5 million dollar payout if new ownership came in and wouldn’t honor his 8.5 million a year deal! HE HELD THEM HOSTAGE!!

He’s a crook. He came into Phoenix, ripped them off. Between 2000 and 2009 Gretzky made something like 75 million dollars in Phoenix, while the organization went pretty much out of business and lost 360 million dollars! He is to Phoenix as Frank McCourt is to LA. The only difference? No one will attack him. He does it slick. He leaves Tocchet and Mcnall to take the blame. He takes the money and runs EVERY TIME

Gretzky raped both these franchises. First the Kings, where he and his “business” partner Bruce Mcnall looted the coffers for years and never won shit. This is the guy that went on the Gretzky and Friends traveling tour during the strike, taking all his Edmonton buddies with him – the fat cats of the league – while the rank and file NHLPA guys sat home with no income. This is the guy who got a Rolls Royce delivered to him during a game .. a birthday gift from Mcnall .. in the same season the Kings made you put in your deposit for NEXT years season seats BEFORE they refunded your playoff ticket money from the last year! This is the same guy who quadrupled ticket prices in LA then went something like 511-518 during the regular season with all his Edmonton buddies brought in while he acted as coach, GM and head asshole, NEVER WINNING A CUP in LA even when he went out and Steinbrennered the league.

Then he does the same thing in Phoenix only as a coach. His same group of buddies, his brother and wife all make MILLIONS on a shit team that loses, loses, loses!

If he shows up in this series he ought to be driven out by angry fans with torches and pitchforks. Instead he’ll go rob the cash register while no one is looking, Helene Elliiot will faint at the site of him and then he’ll speed off while someone else goes to prison.

I saved it!

Author: kingster

The Duck not only owns the first California Stanley Cup, they also are the most quotable team in the history of Pro Sports.

First Corey Perry with “you tell Pavel he’s gonna get it too” and now Ryan Getzlaf, toying with some sissy Finns, first he points to his fist and says “you don’t want this” and then he tells the group of sniveling Euro’s “I WILL KNOCK YOU ALL OUT IN THREE MINUTES”.

That time estimate is a gross exaggeration, I’d say 2:23 tops, but nonetheless that is an epic quote from a real Captain who does not CONSTANTLY run away from fights like a certain Corky-looking guy I know!

He’s in a league of his own. Overwrought. Verbose. High-Fallutin’. Dopey. Angry. Uninformed. ¬†That’s just in his bio where he goes on and on announcing that he’s a professional hockey writer. PROFESSIONAL mind you!

My guess is that his real job is selling something over the phone from a cubicle in the Valley. Because the only published things I can find are really, well, overwrought, verbose and I guess you’d have to say “loosely” researched articles on a webzine that he seems to own, publish and edit. The fourrh period dotcom, hockey’s “lifestyle” magazine.

Really.

Have you seen it? I hadn’t either. Now, wait. I haven’t either. Never. Not once. I’m a bit of a hockey fan, you’d think I’d have seen the alleged magazine somewhere. In the toilet at Staples Center or on a newsrack at the Airport or somewhere! But, no I haven’t. And the web version? Fuck. How many guys have their own website? Here’s the proof .. *I* have my own website! I’m the biggest dipshit of all time but I have a website that I publish, write and edit all by myself too!

Anyway, take a gander:

Holy Shit, right? I mean he went somewhere and got dressed and did his hair and posed for this. Then out of however many pictures there were, this is the one HE picked (it’s from his twitter account). Imagine, if you can, what the OTHER pictures looked like if this is the best one!

Examples of his work? Here’s where he copied the recent trend of writing “funerals” for teams who lost in the playoffs ( I was going to say “got ousted” as an ironic dig at this alleged wordsmith, but I think he would not have got it):

When the series’ first goal hit the back of the net less than five minutes and the owner was Burrows, the Vancouver faithful had visions of another production, instigating long playoff run in their heads.

THAT is what happens when you are your own editor! The Professional Hockey Writers of America, or whatever group it is he mentions “incidentally” in every article he writes, are probably going to have to sue him to stop him from claiming an affiliation. THAT is what happens when you edit your own work! It will be REPLETE with mistakes. Trust me on this one.

“The series first goal hit the back of the net not less than five minutes” …. less than 5 minutes WHAT Dennis? Less than 5 minutes into the game? Not less than 5 minutes then went by? Why did you leave that thought in the middle of that long, exasperating sentence? Were you tired of your prose already too? ¬†“…and it’s owner was Burrows”. Holy Shit, Deeman, that is 4th grade passive writing. Come on! “The vancouver fans had visions of another production, instigating long run”. WHAT? What in the blue hell? What were they envisioning a long run? An instigation? An instigator penalty? An extra word? 2 words left out? Where the blue fuck was your editor on this one D-boy?

That’s the tip of the iceberg. The guy is living proof that calling yourself something and then hoping everyone accepts it .. that is a trick from some Jack Black movie .. it doesn’t work! The guy is a hack! Check this out:

http://canucksarmy.com/2012/5/1/dennis-bernstein-wrote-the-best-recap-of-the-canucks-playoff-loss