Archive for April, 2012

LOL. Dopey King fans have to listen to the guy they hate the most doing the color on their once in a lifetime trip to the second round! Brian HAZY Hayward!

This despite the wonderful spelling and grammar of this ON LINE PETITION a King fan sent me. These people are SERIOUS! They not only thought that this petition was written in English, they also thought it might get Jim Fox or Bob Miller on a national broadcast. Fat chance either of those homers ever do a national game! Speaking of fat, how’s the wife, Kingstoner?

The Petition
Bob Miller is a broadcasting legend and member of numerous broadcast awards as well as being in the NHL Hall of Fame for broadcasting. He deserves to call the LA Kings for the Western Conference Semi-Finals. If Brian Hayward can work for NBC Sports….Bob Miller and Jim Fox should most certainly be more then qualified to meet the hiring standards at NBC Sports and thus should be hired to cover the LA Kings games in the Western Conference Semi-Finals.

I’m hardly an English scholar, but lets start on this one. First of all “Bob Miller is a member of numerous broadcast awards”? Did you mean recipient of numerous awards or what? Now “More then qualified”? You know that “then” refers to time, like “lets start a petition, then we’ll look really lame” and “than” is more of a comparison thing. “I’d rather have won a Cup already than be stuck a lame losing-since-1967 King fan starting on line petitions to get our podunk homer announcers on NBC”. I’m just going to leave out the awkwardness and general passive-voice overwrought word choice alone. This could be the single funniest petition ever started – and I’m including when guys like this used to start petitions to get dodgeball eliminated from recess.

BOB MILLER

JIM FOX

Chris Paul for Calder

Author: kingster

And for all you idiots aghast at the Tweets coming out of Boston, get over it. You don’t think the NHL is chock full of racism? Please.

Lay a little havoc?

Author: kingster

LOL that’s what this one idiot is saying on the message boards today. He wants the Kings to “lay a little havoc” on the Blues. I’ve done a complete 180 on this, I want the Kings to keep winning cause the more they win, the more stupid shit their fans say.

10-1

Author: kingster

That’s the count! Since 2001, the Kings have won 1 playoff series, the Duck have won 10.

And btw, so what? Vancouver SUCKS IT!

PANIC TIME??

Author: kingster

It looks that way. Kings legacy of utter failure looks like it will continue in maybe the most humiliating way possible. BTW, Henrik and Daniel fucked Dustin Brown up big time.

Here is the Problem

Author: kingster

This whole suspension/violence/injury stuff is so predictable. This year it’s reached an all time high. The league looks like idiots, fining Zenon Konopka 2500 bucks for yelling during a Ranger interview, then fining Shea Weber 2500 for trying to put Zetterberg’s head in the turnbuckle.

Now the league, all of “twitter” and every asshole from tsn or espn or talkradio is going crazy over the horrible hit by Torres on Hossa. You would think he was found funneling information to Al Quaeda on the whereabouts of all the puppies in the US. He is a scourge on the game, he’s what is wrong with hockey. The dipshits are out in full force.

OK, first of all Torres is an asshole. Everyone agrees on that. But here’s the point. Watch one episode of “NHL bumps and bruises” and you will find 10 hits JUST like that one. Feet off the ground, guys covering 50 feet of ice to make a hit, shoulder/forearm to head. It’s the most popular in-game entertainment in EVERY arena and the NHL knows it. The playoffs are in large part so popular because now every player on the ice is finishing every check, and if a guy puts his head down look out because Dustin Brown is gonna come hit him then run to the bench.

You can’t have it both ways. Or, rather, you can’t have it both ways and ALSO not look like idiots.

Removing head shots from the game is easy. Removing crosschecks to the jaw is easy. Removing guys jumping guys and punching them 20 times? EASY!

Do you see that happening in even football? Basketball? NO, because if it does you are immediately thrown out of the game, suspended for the rest of the season and fined up the ass.

But in Hockey? You can do it as long as the player you do it to isn’t taken off on a stretcher!

As soon as you figure in the injury, and allow the intent to be penalized differently each time, well you are screwed.

And that’s where we are. A league that desires head hits, but then cries bloody murder when a star gets hit in the head … well they look foolish. That is the problem. They say the don’t want head hits, but they do want head hits. They say they don’t want everyone out to injure their opponents, but they really do.

Penalize the intent. Weber’s actions were as dangerous and more menacing than Torres. But wait and see the difference in penalty. The end result is that players know that if they knock a guy into next Tuesday they maybe get a 2500 fine or a one game suspension. What does a 4th liner care about that? That’s their job!

Until the NHL makes a decision – hits like Torres’ are either going to be penalized so severely that they won’t be repeated, they aren’t fooling me with their post-hit sincerity “oh we all wish Mr Hossa and his family the best in his recovery”.

And fuck, I don’t care. Leave those hits in the game OK by me. Just don’t cry about it when a guy gets fucked up for life.

Few know that Dustin Brown was actually given up for adoption by his birth parents (they got one look at that jutting forehead in the delivery room and headed for the hills). He was adopted by Communist Vietnamese parents and raised on the Saigon Delta by a father credited with the ambush killings of 143 proud US boys back in ‘nam. Dustin’s adoptive father was the originator of the “rat tunnels”, a system of underground tunnels the commies used to ambush and then run away from our soldiers in the war. Here is a picture of Dustin, at a young age, being trained by his father in the art of striking unsuspecting opponents and then running away into a hole (you can kind of spot the receding hairline, even at this young age):

That right there is the last thing Henrik Sedin saw last night. It’s the last thing Anze Kopitar saw last night as he at least stood up and fought after another chickenshit hit by the King of the sneak attacks. I have newfound respect for the ambush tactics of the Viet Cong, who moved only at night and lived in the ground. They fought a much more respectable battle than this Dustin Brown character. He’s a boring Sean Avery, a dimwitted Matt Cooke, a tongue-tied Theo Fleury.

Can you picture Dustin Brown in the Philly/Pitt series right now, going after the softest player on the other team, from behind, then leaving someone like Anze Kopitar to answer the bell for him? I can picture him a Flyer, taking a run at Crosby and Sid just looking at him, shaking his head in disgust as FLYER FANS chant “brown sucks”. His own team would beat his ass if he had to play in a mans series like that.

 

LATE EDIT 4/16/2012 3:09 PST: I received many unfriendly messages from my asiatic brethren of South Vietnamese (pinko) persuasion. A representative example

bạn là một người mẹ xấu xí của một con chó

 Loosely translated, they have promised to find my mother and put bamboo shoots up her fingernails if I ever compare them to that nasty piece of shit, Dustin Brown.
My apologies.

 

 

Holy shit I hate to be one of these guys pontificating and ranting about NHL officiating, but Weber NOT getting suspended for his turnbuckle head-slam move last night is conclusive proof that the NHL is totally full of shit when they say they want to end head injuries and head hits. You can argue, like Wing fans, that they are biased, who knows. But the bottom line is there is just no way to reconcile that “no suspension” with at least half a dozen actual suspensions handed out this year. There is simply no way to look at the play and say Weber was not trying to concuss the fuck out of Zetterberg, that Zetterberg “changed the angle at the last second” or any other way to mitigate the clear cut intent to injure. So what if he failed, he was trying to knock a player the fuck out.

I remember this one guy early in the year who would tweet up a storm after every Shanahan suspension video “another fine job, sir you are cleaning up the game and we all thank you”. “What a hard job to do Mr Shanahan, but you do it with great skill … I see our next commissioner”.

LOL. Now you see what you thought all along. Shanahan is a stupid fucking ex-hockey player. He’s lost his mind letting that play go.

CANUCKS IN THREE!!!

Author: kingster

Commissioner calls mercy rule as the Vancouver Canucks sweep their first round series vs the LA Byes with 3 impressive 11-0 wins. It will be weeks before it’s learned that Bettman shutting down the series and automatically advancing the Canucks to round 2 came at the request of a crying Dean Lombardi. GO CANUCKS!!!!