THE TOE HOLD

OK, so you come up with this great plan for the season, and your first line is touted as the best line in the league. Then, 23 games in everyone on the whole team is in the tank. The season is pretty much over. SO, what to do?

Well lets see. If you are an old, dumb, stubborn man with no leadership, charisma or foresight? If you are half bald and if you throw barstools when you lose your temper and if you mock and ridicule any reporter that asks you a hard question?  If you are afraid of the press and public and leave your coach and players to do all the talking when your team is in a horrible slump? If you are a total dipshit? What do you do then as GM?

Well what Boob Murray does is looks at his roster, downs another cruller and  finds his 35 goal scoring 24 year old on a good long contract and TRADES HIM!

Right. A team that can generate no offense. A team that is going to lose it’s entire 2nd line (that averages like 39 years old anyway) to retirement next year, he’s going to trade maybe his most potent offensive player?

Think of this. Ryan, who gets ZERO pp time on right wing cause he’s blocked by Selanne, gets 30 plus goals at age 21, 22 and 23. He’d have hit 40 each of those years if he was in Selanne’s RW slot on the PP. So, what to do, what to do? TRADE HIM???

At a time when the whole rest of the league knows how desperate you are too.

Here’s how next years forward line up looks if he trades Ryan for prospects and a DMAN:

Perry/Getzlaf/NOONE

NOONE/NOONE/NOONE

NOONE/NOONE/NOONE

NOONE/NOONE/NOONE

Oh sure, he can fill those slots with Matt Beleskey (who last week he waived and no one wanted him and this week is on his first line!) or Hagman (who Calgary dumped and who every team in the league PASSED on) or Maxwell (Who Montreal CUT). Hell, he can call up Dan Sexton. But the point remains, this team is in deep deep shit next year at forward EVEN if Etem or Palmieri or Holland OR ALL OF THEM work out. And he’s going to trade our youngest star forward?

FIRE THIS ASSHOLE BEFORE HE RUINS THE TEAM EVEN MORE.

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But … the likelihood is he’s calling Edmonton, or Washington or Montreal, asking about some of their older AHL players who might be available. My guess? He’s offering Etem and Palmieri plus a first rounder for Joffrey Lupul.

It’s November though, so while you are getting the turkey and stuffing ready, pull up OCregister.com or something and check it out. The annual quote is coming: “if the players think I’m firing the coach, they have another thing coming”.

This is a man with no plan. He bounces from one transaction to the next as if the sun wasn’t coming up tomorrow. How many “projects” can a team bring through before they acquire a guy that is actually achieving? I mean Anaheim is the place Steve Eminnger, Kyle Chipchura, Aaron Voros … they were all going to benefit from the change of scenery. This year it’s Andrew Gordon off the Washington scrapheap, the 46  year old scrappy AHL superstar busy killing penalties while amassing 1 point 20 games in and Nik Hagman who was sent to the minors from Calgary, who no one claimed but us, on his way back through re-entry waivers! That sentence is a quadruple run on but that’s OK cause Murray quadruple sucks. Last year Mara and Lilja and Sutton were the guys he “had his eye on”! This year he claims he had his eye on Hagman for over a year! Right, so that he could watch him suck, get cut in Calgary, clear waivers and then clear the few teams below us back on re-entry waivers. At that point the game was over, Bob was all coiled up like a viper and he struck and struck hard! “With the 5th pick in the re-entry scrapheap dumpsterdiving leftovers from CALGARY of all fucking places, the Mighty Ducks of …. errr … the Anaheim Ducks select Center Niklas Hagman. He is s a center, right? Oh shit!”

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That is the poignant question asked by the guy who calls himself “the hipcheck” on blogtalkradio last night! Verbatim. Keep in mind, Tonga likens Terry Murray’s incompetence to how Tonga got benched when he played baseball in high school!

This is the funniest show I’ve ever heard in my life.

They started the show saying “this is the way to go, I started this show so you can call in and talk, you don’t have to type in a box on the internet”. Then he says “tonight we will be reading to you from the comments in the LGK shoutbox and you can write in on our chatbox if you don’t want to call.”

I’m 10 minutes in and it’s non stop attacks on Terry Murray, and now “the hipcheck” is quoting “poorman” who said Kopitar would be a superstar in any other system.  Poorman? How bout we ask Wolfman Jack too?

It’s like two rocks debating the performance of a loaf of bread.

Oh Christ, now Tonga has to sign off, his “battery is dying”.

Professional!

Holy crap, I listened to the whole thing. One call. In the middle of the show he started yelling at some guy who was posting stuff on the “chatsite” saying “get out of here you punk” and then “oh god, I can’t type and talk at the same time”. I am listening live to a LA Kingfan ranting and raving to himself as he slowly slips into some sort of postal fit of rage. The Kings are, according to him (and over and over for 36 minutes) a great team being completely held back by the incompetence of Terry Murray, who, I quote again “has never did a momentum changing play in his king career”.

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This is todays quote from Dean Lombardi, complimenting him, I guess:

“The one thing, to his credit, he’s not in elite shape but he certainly made the effort to get in average shape, and he is continuing here.”

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Cause that is the last year this 60 point scorer (Mike Richards) will be costing the Kings a 5.75 million dollar cap hit. If I have the math right, he’ll be 53 years old by then. His best days are ALREADY behind him and yet you pay him ACTUAL CASH MONEY this year of 6.6 million, next year EIGHT POINT FOUR MILLION, then 7.6, 7, 6, 5.5, 4.5, 3 and 3.  The cap hit for Mike Richards will still be 5.75 million in the year 2020!!!

Lets look at the numbers, shall we? He had 80 points, a career high, in 08. Then 62. Then 66.

This year? The trend continues, he’s on pace for 58 points. You know how many players had more even strength points than him last year? 59. He was the 6oth best point scorer, ES, in the league.

That ought to go down pretty severely over the next 9 years, huh Deano?

The joke is on you, Guido!!!

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Richie boy has another big day today, blogging 88 times about inane crap. Consider this, “Morning in San Jose” with a picture taken out his hotel window of San Jose, and the thrilling hockey update:

The nearby shopping mall has its huge outdoor Christmas tree up and decorated, on Nov. 7. Never too early to get people in that buying mood, I suppose. It’s the first of three trips to San Jose this season, and it’s a cool morning but with clear skies.

 

 

Later in the day, he blogs about Michael Handzus, now with the Sharks:

 

It’s a new look all around for Michal Handzus, the former Kings center who signed with San Jose as a free agent in July. Not only is Handzus wearing black and teal, but he also came off the ice this morning looking freshly shaved and without the long, flowing hair of the past.

 

Later, Rich explains how Drew Doughty got hit in the face with a puck and almost got injured, it was scary, but he didn’t get injured. The other 82 blogs are about how the lines might be different tonight.

Go Sharks?

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Strike gold once, then cheap out? Arte Moreno seems to have pulled that move for the Angels, losing now yearly when Boston or someone else takes the good players. Relying on Jered Weaver to give him a hometown discount.

Is Henry Samuelli up to the same thing?

The Duck is about 5 mill under the cap, last I saw. They have Andrew Gordon on the third line at 525k a year. Washington gave up on this slight, innefective player who the Duck now is billing as a “defensive forward”. That is what you call a guy that lights it up in the AHL but can’t score in the NHL – a grinder. He’s not a grinder, sorry. He’s a little scrappy, he looks good killing penalties. But he’s making 525k for a reason – the Duck was the only team willing to make an offer and who had space for a 26 year old rookie on their third line.
He’s accompanied by 19 year old Devante Smith-Pelly, who just played his 10th game, robbing the Duck of a year on his first contract. DSP played 6 minutes on the fourth line last night. He is 20th on the team in icetime. He has 1 assist. He’s -4, 19th on the team. But guess what, he makes 870k. He stays.

Macenauer? 800k. Beleskey 700. Bonino 690.

There’s a reason these players have low salaries … as Happy Gilmore’s girlfriend says, THEY AREN’T ANY GOOD.

Samuelli’s self-imposed team cap has the Duck fielding two lines then a bunch of crap. Getzlaf played 30 minutes against Chicago. There’s a reason for that – the bottom six aren’t any good.

Why on earth the Duck is keeping a 19 year old FOURTH LINER and burning a year on his first contract, when he is statistically the worst player on the team … well that’s beyond me. Why anyone sees anything in the hapless Andrew Gordon .. that’s even further beyond me.

Coupon clippers end up in long lines at awful stores getting inferior products. The Duck management has to step up and fix this reliance on the top two lines. Some players have to be brought in to fill out the rest of the roster. Bonino and Gordon are just this years Carter and Bodie. THey SUCK!

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