1) CRYING ABOUT REFS:
The LA Times wrote 2 articles on game 3. A full 80% (I counted) of the paragraphs were dedicated to the officiating. King fans pick up on this like flies pick up on leftover nachos. Every King fan cried and cried like a baby. There were gifs and .animes and stupid tweets about the refs flooding the internet (the only place King fans find friends). They have cried “east coast bias” for 40 some years now. They cry louder, harder and longer than anyone.
2) FRONT RUNNING.
Take a look at the message board here or the comments on this blog. King fans VANISH into thin air when they lose … well no, they vanish from anywhere actual hockey is discussed – they retreat to their own little internet worlds to cry about the refs, the bad bounces, the lack of “laying the body” (boy do they like that term, if you know what I mean). Then just wait for it .. if they win? OH MY GOD this place is inundated I had to go buy more server space after they won round 1 and were in here spelling everything wrong.
Speaks for itself. Ever seen a non meth-addicted King fan?
OK, look. Someone has to paint fences, dig holes and fix cable boxes and it sure as fuck isn’t gonna be me. So this isn’t really a dig. The problem is not the roughly 50% of low IQ King fans who work hard so they can chant “ducks suck” as they finish a bucket of KFC, it’s the other 50% who are on welfare or who sell shit out of a cubicle to old people on social security. Or the remaining 50% (just want to see if they catch it) who sell pot for a living. These guys are assholes.
Ok guess I jumped the gun and covered this already. Rule of threes.
6) MISERABLE LOSERS.
There are a few bandwagon types who still have some sort of life worth living. They haven’t been infected by the YELL AND SCREAM AND BEAT YOUR CHEST loserdom of those whose self-worth is totally determined by a group of 18-30 year old Canadian and Europeans who all make more in a month than they make in a lifetime. But it’s probably 90% who like to wear their King “snapback” to Fashion Island and scream at old ladies with diamond jewelry that would sell at pawn for more than these guys will earn in a decade.
7) TATOOED FREAKS.
Here’s a clue. If you are 50 years old and have a goatee and a bunch of tattoos which aren’t anchor shaped from the Navy you are a pussy and anyone can kick your ass. If you are under 50 and have a “sleeve” you are in the very small subset of people who can NOT kick the 50 year old guys ass.
8) WHITE TRASH.
Does this make me a racist?
9) BEER GUZZLING PIGS.
LOL I am starting to repeat myself. But look, once at a Duck/King game I set down my half a glass of beer to cheer one of the I think 8 Duck goals in the game. The Kingfan behind me in the jeanshorts tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I was done with it.
10) SECOND TO THE CUP.
They will ALWAYS be the weak little brother. They are the degenerate losers of Los Angeles. They make rioting Wing fans look like pillars of society. King fans are the worst fans ever.