Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you your Los Angeles Kings. They lose a game killing a penalty (after winning the last one on a 5 on 3) and they go berserk! Quick chases down the referees, yelling and shouting like a 12 year old fan that doesn’t understand the rules. Dustin Penner says the refs had the “gall” to make these calls. What in the fuck is the matter with these guys. Reading the LA Times the morning after the EPIC choke job by the Kings was sort of like listening to a 5 year old who got a peanut butter sandwich when he CLEARLY wanted peanut butter and jelly. WHAT A BUNCH OF BABIES!
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Many hockey experts are thinking the Anaheim Ducks are in trouble. It appears the team Dwayne Eklund just dubbed “the best team in hockey right now” has things way too easy in Detroit. They’ll clearly win in 5 unless they play the whole Norfolk roster (an idea Bruce Boudreau is mulling over at the adamant request of the Financial guys who want more home games and longer series’). The issue is if they get rusty. 5 easy games against Detroit, a week of rest and then 4 easy games against some other Western Conference patsy (Chicago flailing in Minny). How can a team stay hot if they ever run into a worthy opponent?
Don’t be alarmed, everyone still picks them to beat Pitt in 3 to win the Cup, but it’d be nice if someone puts up a fight along the way.
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One and done for the lowly Kings!
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It is the King fan lament, or rather, it’s the King fan way of puffing out their chest if they win or they lose. It’s a mantra, sort of like if you are in mile 24 of your marathon and telling yourself “I can do this” or something. Actually, in Kingster parlance it’s like being on your second hot dog between periods in the concourse, hearing the players come out on the ice and telling yourself “if I shove the whole thing on my mouth, push my way to the front of the urinal line then ignore the “no entry during play” sign of the usher I can get back in my seat to yell “take the body” by the 19:30 mark, you can do it Chuey”.
“IT WAS A GOOD LOSS”
You know, on the road, “quicker really battled” the “boys withstood the storm” and “we gave em all they could take and it took a fluke to beat us”. It’s almost like they won, instead of the reality which is they LOST in the most brutal of fashions, with their best player TOTALLY FUCKING UP THE GAME. It looked like watching a goalie in the “true beginner” league at the local roller hockey rink. PATHETIC, DISMAL, SEASON ENDING and FANTASTIC are the words that come to mind!
MEANWHILE IN ANAHEIM, HOME OF THE REAL HOCKEY TEAM:
Teemu Selanne might be the most universally admired hockey player of all time. I think 90% of the Red Wing fans cheered for his game winner last night. BTW, I’m going to finally give some credit to dumbass Duck fans. I remember going to a Duck/RedWing playoff game way back when and it was 50% Red Wing fans and the Duck fans who were there had their jerseys tucked in and all gasped when a goalie took the bench on a delayed penalty. Last night MAYBE 10% of the place was Red Wing fans and they were pretty much shut down. If anything it was a little embarrassing to see Duck fans talking shit all night long – in beer lines, in bathroom lines, to and from the game it would be a group of 6 Duck fans yelling at two guys in Holmstrom jerseys. One guy in a Franzen jersey had a Duck fan screaming at him that YOUR WIFE IS THE MULE! Sick, yet somehow rewarding.
LETS GO DUCKS … dotcom.
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Detroit is the armpit of the USA, a cesspool of human filth. They can’t make a car, but they can sure run a pawn shop. It’s like Sarnia and Windsor grew a huge mole that turned cancerous and moved across the river.
And to make matters worse, the entire team is Swedish. You may as well put on some skinny jeans and get it over with Detroit.
Maybe you should make Volvos?
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The PACIFIC DIVISION has been in existence since 1993. Before that it was essentially the Smythe Division. The Los Angeles Kings, aka “Shotcount Heros” have been in the Pacific Division all that time. Phoenix has won the Pacific. Anaheim. Colorado, Calgary, San Jose … heck EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN IN THE PACIFIC won it at least once.
EXCEPT THE SHOTCOUNT HEROS
YOU WILL NEVER EVER GET ONE OF THESE
Is there a reason I bring this up now?
YES!
Because the league is being restructured next season and there will be no Pacific Division of the NHL again EVER!
Meaning that unless the Shotcount Heros of Los Angeles get all 6 of their remaining available points and the Duck get zero of their remaining points the LOS ANGELES KINGS WILL NEVER EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE WIN A PACIFIC DIVISION TITLE. Second place or worse EVERY YEAR for twenty years.
GO BOO SOME MORE INJURED PLAYERS YOU FAT,UGLY, NACHO-EATING HACKS!!!!
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Pay the bet, FUCKER!
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A photo of Toe at the Finals!
